Conscious Relaxation in the Spirit of Gratitude

Sthira sukham asanam (Patanjali's Yoga Sutras, 2.46). This sutra reminds us that our poses should represent a receptive strength, demonstrating effort without tension and relaxation without dullness. That last part has become very important for me lately: relaxation without dullness. I'm including more and more restorative yoga and meditation in my practice, the aim of which is conscious relaxation and mindfulness. Our culture tends to define relaxation as checking out, turning off, or tuning out. As much fun as that can be, where does it really get us? If I sit in front of the television for a couple of hours, I always feel more tired than when I first sat down. In many ways, simply checking out is not relaxing at all. Rather, it constitutes ignoring the stresses that reside in our bodies and minds, allowing them to linger and fester. If I'm honest with myself, I'm most successful at deep relaxation when I give it conscious attention. To me, relaxation means letting go of tensions and worries to soften myself as completely as possible. So how do I do this, how do I practice letting go?

I just finished a week-long hip openers workshop with one of my teachers, Eddie Modestini, at Maya Yoga Studio here on Maui. As we focused on hip opening, a crucial lesson for us to examine was that of letting go. In order to open we must learn to let go of areas of stored tension, stress, tightness, injury, or even emotions. We must learn to peel back the layers we've built up over years of unconscious activity. I've begun to approach this by studying a conscious state of relaxation and mindfulness. Cultivating meditation and restorative yoga as integral parts of my practice has helped tremendously. These practices teach me to sit in stillness, remaining wide awake. I focus attention on my breath, as it moves through me, expanding and softening the fibers of my being. Conscious relaxation is meditation in action.

As the holidays approach, and everyone begins talking of gratitude, I've begun to wonder what role gratitude plays in letting go. Usually, when we think of what we're grateful for, it is for things we possess. We think of being grateful for what we have. Yet, as I explore consciously letting go, I've seen that if I approach tensions with an attitude of gratitude, they melt away. To stresses, injuries, challenging relationships, or pain I present gratitude for the lessons they teach me and the role they play in shaping my path. It is then that I can let go of them. If I instead approach those things I want to let go with anger or displeasure, they have a tendency to root themselves more firmly in my being. Cultivating an honest feeling of gratitude for our stresses can be incredibly difficult, I know. But I have found that regular practice in conscious relaxation is a key that opens that door. Start small: try a restorative yoga class, sit quietly for 10 minutes in the morning or before sleep, pause at random intervals in your day for a few smooth deep breaths. As we move into a time of year that is often a paradox of stress and worry amid celebrations of gratitude and giving, consider giving yourself the ultimate gift of letting go.